The meaning of a “Girl”

A bunch of feminist-esque songs with the word girl in the tittle 🙂 Enjoy!

Madona: What it Feels Like For a GirlI put up the Glee version, because it really touched me when I heard the guys from the cast sing it, when I watched the episode 🙂

Corine Bailey Ray: Girl Put Your Records OnI found a video on YouTube where the name had girl in it so it counts 😛 and it’s a live acoustic performance so it’s just that much better 🙂 These lyrics are words of wisdom if ever there were any. To me modern feminism is a very positive thing, that’s farther from the past than, I think, most people think it is. It’s something I do just for me. It’s me trying to adapt a way of being and thinking that sets me free in life. Free from expectations I might have about myself or I think other people might have for me. Something that lets me “let my hair down” like the song says 🙂 Just to be conscious of expectations, and avoid any influence that doesn’t serve my life’s purpose and make me happy. I support other women, just like I support my male friends. Feminism is about equality. There was a guest on an old game-show who introduced herself saying “I’m an Aerospace Engineer and a cheerleader for the Dallas Cowboys. Some people think outside the box, I just like to live outside it 🙂 ” To me that’s what modern feminism is all about; Not letting yourself get boxed in 🙂

Sugarbabes: GirlsThis whole thing started when I heard this song in a shampoo commercial and had to look it up online. I love running to these Sugarbabes songs. Feel good music ❤

Sugarbabes: About a Girl😀

Robyn: Who’s that girlI love Robyn. Her song “You can’t handle me” is one of my favs 🙂 Remember her from the 90’s? Show me love? She got away from her record label after that so she could have more artistic freedom, started doing small shows at first, then larger ones, then made her own record label 🙂 Love to see a woman stepping out on her own 🙂

Marina and the Diamons: Girls

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a7ALR8m2IbQ&feature=related

I love this song. I’m def one of the guys sometimes 😛 When I was little I liked vediogames and snowforts more than hanging out with girls who could sometimes be vicious. I’ve known a lot of sweet girls growing up too, but I would sometimes get bored playing with girls 😛 I have a lot of wonderfull women in my life now 🙂 but I still like hanging out with my boys 🙂 Really women treat ourselves the way we do because we’re still a repressed group in society, we don’t want to take up space (stay skinny stay hot stay quiet) and we don’t want each other doing it so it just sucks and it’s not anyone’s fault really but this song just reminds me of my rebellion against that.

I’ve never counted calories, and I hate it when other girls/ women do it.  I pay more attention to fashion now that I’m older, so I can understand the appeal. I don’t like it though, when I see girls at the gym, on the ellipticals, reading fashion magazines while they work out. Are you so bored? You’re not really breaking a sweat if you can leaf through a magazine at the same time, and I feel like they’re just looking at what they want to look like and it makes me sad that that’s why they’re there. I love to really push myself when I work out. I love the rush of it. I just don’t understand going to the gym just to burn calories. The gym would not be a happy place for me, if I went there to burn fat. I wouldn’t go to the gym if I was so bored that I needed to listen to music AND browse a magazine WHILE working out, those are for waiting rooms lol.

Nope, no calorie counting/ burning for me. I love food, I eat what I want, when I want, and I work out when I want to have fun and feel healthy. I’ve always put emphasis on having a positive relationship with food. I hate seeing women torture themselves because they want to eat. YOU’RE HUNGRY! EAT SOMETHING! It keeps you alive! I’ve never been on a diet in my life. Back in HS after I started working at a bakery, I put on a whole lot of weight. I was in a really good place at the time and gratefully I was just able to accept and love my new size. Whatever size I am is perfect, unless it’s causing me health problems. When I started taking gym class again, still in HS, it was just something to try. I was actually kind of sad to lose the weight I did, at first, because I really came to love my curvier self. Funny how that “eye of the beholder” stuff works. Then I started to love exercise. I got really athletic and more muscular in my first year of university, I had almost no curves, but came to see that as beautiful, because I had a positive relationship with the training I loved to do, and I loved to be strong. It’s not like I haven’t had times where I thought hhmm look at those love handles 😦 but it’s very important for me in life, to love what I am, and not try to change that, and that’s a big part of what feminism is about for me.

Marina and the Diamonds (Marina Diamandis) is awesome.”the diamonds” stands for her fans, not her band! 🙂 It’s also the translation of her last name from Greek. Yay! another Greek feminist woman. I love her 🙂 She has a lot of other more interesting stuff out there. Check out some of her videos if you want here(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwfCjYv7gVQ&feature=related,   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S_oMD6-6q5Y&feature=channel,   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1VTcJfL7RE&feature=channel,   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1t77mkzVko)

Destiny’s Child: GirlClasic ❤ I love this one.

No Doubt: I’m just a girlAnother classic 🙂

City and Colour: The GirlThis is kind of an appropriate song for mother’s day too, if you listen to some of the lyrics 🙂 I love this song 🙂 HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! I LOVE YOU MOM! ❤ Love to your mother internet! 🙂

Ciara ft T-Pain: Go GirlAnother feel good song. I love running to this 🙂 I can hang, and I think that’s why they call me GO GIRL! 😀

Pink: Stupid GirlsHow can I not include this song into this post. I love Pink. Loved her ever since I got her debut album in middle school ❤

Nikki Flores: This GirlJust found this song for this blog. Such a beautiful song. It’s cheesy but I loved the lyrics when I looked them up. If you don’t want to have to suffer through the cheese here are the lyrics alone 😛 http://www.lyricsmania.com/this_girl_lyrics_nikki_flores.html If you’re watching the lyrics in the youtube video: Once upon a time = one step at a time. That bugs me cuz I love that line and there isn’t a single posting of this song on youtube that didn’t have the wrong lyrics in it haha

Shalom internets, and happy mother’s day 🙂

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Positive POWER :D

I did that group meditation webinar thing today, and it really got me feeling good, so my first thing I’m passionate about, that I want to talk about, is self help and the power of positive thinking. If you read my last post you might have been wondering why I put emphasis on positive thinking/meditation in my list of goals. Here’s a few quotes that I think can help describe it 🙂

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful. ALBERT SCHWEITZER

The richness I achieve comes from Nature, the source of my inspiration. CLAUDE MONET

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.JAMES OPPENHEIM

Happiness cannot come from without. It must come from within. It is not what we see and touch or that which others do for us which makes us happy; it is that which we think and feel and do, first for the other fellow and then for ourselves.HELEN KELLER

I really believe in the power of thoughts, energies, and beliefs, in effecting the quality of our lives. This might sound a little out there, and I don’t mean in any way that hard work isn’t necessary or important in life, but I really believe in the phenomenon described in the book The Secret. It basically says that if you don’t expect good things to happen to you, if you expect the worst and you operate on a low frequency (fear, doubt, guilt, wanting, regret) then bad things are going to happen to you, but if you expect good things from the universe and operate on a higher frequency (love, joy, gratitude, forgiveness, trust) then good things that match your thoughts and your frequency will be drawn into your life. I’d experienced this phenomenon in a very large way just before I heard about the book, so I was quite open minded about it when I bought/read the book, back in High School.

Just after reading The Secret, I thought “Hey! I think I’ll give this a try :)”, so I looked at what it said about summoning wealth into your life, and asking the universe for something tangible but small at first, something you think is doable. So I tried to “summon” a free cup of coffee to see if it would work. So, I do what the book says about visualizing the goal as if I already have it. I imagine the coffee in my hands, the smell, the taste, and how excited I am that I got a free cup of coffee, and I say thank you for it. I go about my life saying thank you for every new day, practicing gratitude and keeping my frequency up, and nothing was happening for about a week. Then I re-read one part of the book that says that you can’t think about ways the thing could come to you, because that’s showing the universe that you doubt it can bring the thing to you. I realized I’d been thinking a lot about how my coffee was going to get to me “OMG What’s going to happen? Is my teacher going to decide he doesn’t want his and give it away? How is this even going to happen?” so I stopped that and just put it out of my mind, and kept doing the gratitude thing :). Then, I think 3-7 days after I did that, this woman comes into my work with a bunch of kids, and she’s just come from the Mac’s across the street. So I serve her, and then I’m cleaning up the front of the store a bit when my co-worker turns to me and says “Hey she forgot her coffee.” and I just gasped. I think the girl I was working with must have thought I was crazy haha. I said “Omg you don’t understand! I summoned that!” haha The coffee was unopened XL filled to the brim with my favorite French Vanilla from Mac’s. No one had ever left a coffee in that bakery in the year I’d been working there, and no one ever did again, in the other year and a half that I worked there. I was dumbfounded. She never came back for the coffee. I didn’t drink it but the experience gave me more faith in the stuff, so I figured I’d try to see if something bigger would work, because the belief in it is supposed to make summoning easier.

So my next goal was going to be 2000$. Now, the secret has a few pointers on summoning money, so I read them, then went ahead and took a bank receipt that I had. My balance was 300 and some dollars at the time, and I stuck a two in front of it on the receipt. I looked at it and I convinced myself it was real. I let myself feel the emotions of surprise and joy and gratitude, like the book says too, as if you already have the money. The important part is to really feel the emotion of having the thing so I really got into it. I think I almost cried with joy haha. Then I put the new receipt in my purse where I could see it, and went through my life still practicing gratitude every day. A few weeks later I find out that the government owed me money and that it had been backing up. 200$ a month for about a year at the time. So before I got the check in the mail my bank account was down to about 100$…and then after cashing it…it was almost EXACTLY the amount on my pretend receipt (2300 and some)

After THAT I freaked out and never used the Secret for anything specific again haha. I was still really greatfull for the money but I just felt weird about the whole magic of it. I mean you need to earn what you get in life right? I think though, that sometimes in life you need to allow yourself to accept blessings, and that can, ironically, be very hard. It’s hard for people to accept love sometimes, or gifts, or help from a friend who wants to invest time in them. I think the fact that I’m Greek means I have a little bit of guilt in my blood. It’s taken me a while to realize that guilt can be destructive and useless. Being humble that’s fine, and feeling remorse if you’ve wronged someone, and respecting your elders, and the people you work for and your teachers, practicing hard work, and respecting those who work hard, those are all good values, but if you make a mistake, it doesn’t help anyone to be hard on yourself about it, or dragging that out. Forgiving yourself is important for moving on to generate more positive things in the world, and you can’t forgive others completely unless you can completely forgive yourself, and It doesn’t help anyone anywhere to think you don’t deserve the best life you can have. So I think that I need to start building up my expectations of the universe again.

To make things clear my plan is NOT to wish myself a good job, and I really have LOVED the minimum wage jobs I’ve done. I’m well aware of the work I need to be doing if I’m going to find a job, and I know that if I had wanted something like a government job, I should have starting hunting for one in December. I never put off job hunting thinking I could just snap my fingers and one would come. I meant to start much earlier, but now that I haven’t, I’m realizing in my job hunting that it’s important I still make sure that I get some experience that’s actually related to my career before I finish my degree, and maybe cut myself some more slack and not work myself to the bone, 7 days a week, like my last summer. I’d take a min wage job on the side if I started working for a startup for free and I couldn’t find a waitressing job. There’s nothing wrong with doing min wage work. I just want to see if practicing more positive thinking can HELP me attract more wealth into my life.

In the end what I took away from my “The Secret” experience was that what frequency of energy you’re on can greatly effect your life and that gratitude is the highest and most wonderful frequency to be on, and being on that frequency brings more of what you want and what you need into your life 🙂 and not just money or stuff you ask for, it atracts better friends and better relationships with family members, and better health and wealth in general into your life 🙂 All things I think some people have trouble realizing they deserve sometimes.

As important as it is to love yourself and accept blessings in life it is just as important though to stay grounded, which is why I think I stepped back from that Secret stuff when I did, so here are some quotes about happiness that are a little different from the first ones to put them in perspective. 🙂

I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve. ALBERT SCHWEITZER

( About the above quote: Taking simple pleasure in hard work helps bring you on to a higher frequency so it still fits in with the philosophy that the book talks about 🙂 it’s not all about just asking for free stuff and I think the book doesn’t work for people who look at it like that )

Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action. BENJAMIN DISRAELI

Hope you guys enjoyed this blog and don’t think I’m crazy for believing this stuff haha. Just talking about my personal experiences, and what I took away from them. You can not believe I summoned any of that stuff, that’s fine. I respect the beliefs of anyone who disagrees with me. Just plz don’t judge me for mine. How weak minded of me to look for mystery and something to be in awe of in my life 😛 lol

OMG Why can’t I NOT write a giant essay when I do this blogging thing! It’s 2:47 and I gotta get up at 6:30 :S No hour of reading for me tonight 😦 Too long for yall? what’d you think?

Picture comes from Pink Sherbert Photography http://www.flickr.com/photos/pinksherbet/296413352/in/set-72157601583318576/ this is another cool similar picture with different translations for happiness 🙂

Good night and shalom 😀 All the blessings in the world to you and yours 🙂

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The Start of Something Beautiful

Hi there internet! 😀

My name is Lana, and I’m so excited to start this blog! 🙂  I’m a 4th year Computer Science student with a psych minor (mostly social and cog). I love writing songs and poems. Grew up taking piano, then going through choirs, then went to an arts hs for vocal and then ended up doing comp sci in Uni. Who would have thunk it. If I ever did music as a job I think it would ruin it for me. Some things are just better as a hobby.

I’m unemployed right now and I really want to use this blog to sharpen my focus, both in my job hunting and just in how I live my life. Last year I put off job hunting till exams were over (just like this year :S) I couldn’t find a tech job but I really didn’t try hard enough. I think I’m nervous to do interviews. I love going to talks and conferences and I always have a lot of opinions on the talks I go to, but I never really speak up and talk to speakers after. A lot of people pester them after and I don’t want to be like that. If there are recruiters at a conference I’m always nervous to talk to them too. My lack of job experience def makes me nervous. I think that almost every comp sci student is under qualified for most jobs they start at though. You just have to learn while you’re there. You have to be smart and adaptable. To be frank I think that a lot of the time getting your foot in the door depends on how well you can bullshit what you already know though. I’ve definitely herd guys talking about things they didn’t really understand like they were pros at it. Whether it be security in general, cryptography, or some new technology the last company they were working at was developing. I feel like I’d make a valuable asset to any company and I need to start going harder at selling myself. I’ve got to really want it, because I have some amazing strengths. I’m really good at solving hard problems in assignments, I see things other people don’t, I have special usability testing skills from my psych degree, and a whole lot of knowledge on what motivates people from it that would be great in sales. I’m a big people person and I’m better at communication than a lot of the people in my degree.

This summer I’m gonna do things differently 🙂 No giving up on a tech job no losing focus and no minimum wage panic. Last year I worked two min wage jobs and had to turn away waitressing jobs I wanted later. I’m not paying rent, I have money saved up, and right now I need to look at the time that I’m unemployed as an opportunity to learn and do things that I don’t usually have time for, and get myself back in touch with my life’s purpose 🙂 This article was part of the kick in the pantshttp://lifestyle.ca.msn.com/real-life/inner-you/hearst-article.aspx?cp-documentid=22019389 “You never want a serious crisis to go to waste — and what I mean by that is an opportunity to do things you thought you could not do before.” quote from the article talking about people who are unemployed/laid off because of the depression. I’m taping that article to the inside of my closet 🙂 It’s got some great points.

I’ve lost touch a bit lately with my motivation/ life’s purpose and I’ve really got to rectify it. I really can’t wait to start my career. I like school but I don’t work as hard as I would if there were any immediate consequences for my work, and I really like it when I work hard and get a big hunk of code I can be proud of. In school no one’s going to see the work you do, or need it for anything, so I need to remind myself what all this is for.

So here’s my goals 🙂

1.Learn HTML and then PHP:

Every day starting tomorrow I’m going to devote three hours of my day entirely to this. Turning the msn off and putting the blackberry on silent! Lets see how fast I can do this 🙂 If the added skill doesn’t get me a job then maybe if I find my way around web dev with the help of some friends I could find some clients on my own 🙂 I think that after I’m comfortable with web dev I should keep learning ruby on rails (I started reading Ruby on Rails for dummies but never finished that project 😛 ) and also try to look into doing open source

2. Learn more about IT companies in Ottawa:

So this is partly for the job hunting and partly for my own education. Maybe there’s a company that really does something I connect with that I’ll want to hound until they let me work for them 🙂 I think I should look at at least one company a day now and try to research them and find out about their work environment and what they do. Another step for this is by at least this Friday I’m going to step into Code Factory with a few generic tech resumes and ask about startups that are looking for students to work for them. Or any other companies who use their space. Startups mostly don’t pay anything but I would work for free if the job really excited me or I really like the people, and it’s a good way to just learn about more companies.

3.Finish all the books that I’ve half read:

So I’m pretty ridiculous like this. I don’t know about you, but I have a hella short attention span when it comes to books. It wasn’t like this when I was younger, I’d eat books up, but now I just jump around like 5 of them, so I decided that I’m gonna do an hour of reading before bed every night and get some of these finished. First book Good to Great Making the leap. By Jim Collins. This book has been my favorite book in the world for like a year now and I still haven’t finished it, don’t ask me how. Gettin ‘er done. By the way, check it out. It’s a fascinating piece of research and compilation of business theories about what it takes to have a great company. Not good, but great. I think the standard in their research was great = companies that had at least 7 times the market value of their industry at the time. It’s not all numbers though it’s got a lot of valuable lessons about life, attitude and responsibility. I love that book 🙂

4. Get back in shape:

I think I’m probably in the worst shape I’ve been in since I started university, so I’m running two miles at least three times a week. Jogged/walked/ran my first 2 this morning. Took me 30 minutes which isn’t that bad but when I was in better shape I could do 3miles in that time so I think I’m going to make that my goal for the next couple weeks.

5.DELETE THE FB GAMES!!:

I wont have time to do any of these things if I spend too much time on FB and I need to cut down on outside stimulants if I want my focus and creative energy back. I’ve been spending way too much time on FB games all of last semester starting around midterms and it’s gotten pretty bad. Totally a symptom of me wanting more adventure/ achievements/ missions which I mean that’s why anyone plays any game. Now that I have real life goals set for myself to focus on I’m not going to waste any time on the virtual ones! You guys this is pretty big, I mean my Zoo in zoo-world is worth 600Mill …that’s very impressive in case you didn’t know lol ok so Deleting Zooworld, Treasure isle and happy island RIGHT NOW! ….THEY ARE DELETED! Yay purging 🙂 that felt good 🙂

6.Meditating / feeding  my creative energy

I just need to get myself in a clear focused creative head-space and I have the time and space to do that now. Now that all the FB games are gone and also half of my youtube subscriptions that were wasting my time that should help. I’m doing this webinar in a couple days too about increasing positive energy and releasing blocks on positive energy. There’s going to be a bunch of people meditating at the same time, so it sounds pretty cool. I’m also going to eat breakfast in silence now instead of watching recorded shows. No listening to music while I do stuff unless it’s The Beatles, James Taylor, or Jack Johnson. Don’t ask me why these three, I just think they’re mellow enough not to overstimulate me lol Also I’m going to talk about things I’m passionate about on here once every two days 🙂

7.Learn guitar:

Ok so a couple months ago I read one of my poems out loud for the first time at a coffeehouse at Carleton that a friend was helping to organize. It was such a rush!!! I was nervous as hell but it made me soo happy. I really miss singing and performing and I think if I could learn guitar and take some of the songs I’ve written and play them with it I could maybe work up the courage to do one of my songs at a coffee house 😀 You might think it’s weird that I’d have to work up the courage to sing in public after doing it so many times. It’s really different if it’s something you’ve written yourself though. You kinda feel naked. This one I’ll get around to whenever the Boy lends me his guitar 🙂

The poem is up on the Women in Science and Engineering (WISE) blog from when I was an officer for them: http://cuwise.blogspot.com/2009/08/mantra-of-amazing-woman.html

Rehearsing the poem really helped remind me of some important things I’d forgotten lately too ❤

8.Driver’s ED:

FINALLY!! :O I start taking drivers ed every Saturday in a couple of weeks 🙂

9. Don’t lose touch with friends while I do this 😛

I didn’t see my friends enough last summer so I want to make sure that doesn’t happen again. So this Friday I think I’m going to start by having lunch with my friend Rovic and I’m having a girl’s night/sleepover 🙂 If I’m in the city more it’ll help with this too. There’s a lot of ppl I’ve been meaning to grab lunch with so I might just start going in to town every morning 🙂

Well I’m off to bed because it’s 4:42am…my next goal should be to get to bed and wake up earlier. I promise that my posts will get more concise from here on out 😛 This entry was maybe more for me to help list my goals out 🙂 I find it’s nice though to hear about other people’s goals. It sometimes inspires you to reach your own.

Goodnight ❤ and Shalom 🙂

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